Don't you send me to vm
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
His hands were made for my vagina.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize