You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
You work out of a Hotel?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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