I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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