Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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