your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
