No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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