It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize