Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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