She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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