i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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