I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
