apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
