Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
