So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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