Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
