So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
