stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
