dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think I died a long time ago.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
