actually, I'm a sock model
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
