gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
