So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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