Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
