I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize