party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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