check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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