I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
