Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
