margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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