I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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