Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
