Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
