What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
