The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
