Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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