I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
