I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
