Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
