She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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