used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
