Got a toothbrush?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
She announced her abortion via fbk
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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