I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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