my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
