I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
