Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
