Buhtt sex?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize