Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize