absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
