Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize