His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
