Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
