i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i need some magic done to my vagina
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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