I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
