If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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