You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Alive.
So much puke
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
