i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize
