I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize