Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
