Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
