my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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