i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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