Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
