You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
