2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
