wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
