Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
