Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
