I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
pop tarts are not kleenex
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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