there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
