I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
