Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize