i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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